Mid July & Slalom Guy

By:  Porter Haney
July 16, 2011 10:08 pm | Category: Quick Update, Skiing, Summer

Just a little topper for my favorite readers. ROLL over the images for some bonus points.

After 4th of July’s bikiniski, we took a few weeks of skiing off.  We headed into the hills on Dirt Bikes and explored every little corner of melted out Utah that we could find.

Dwyer’s been in China for almost a month. Upon his most glorious return we decided the only thing we could possibly do was – GO SKIING.  His friend Biscuit arrived in town for the occasion and we hit the road in search of Schuss.

The three of us packed up the Chicken Taco and headed towards skiing. However, we took our typical detour to the most delicious burrito stand to ever exist – MOLCA SALSA.

CHORIZO is  the only thing to order

We ate some serious Breakfast Burritos in honor of K_C and then ate some serious pickled carrots in honor of G.

Detour complete we headed for the hills. Along the way, so stuffed to the gills, we contemplated skiing SUICIDE, but decided the uberhanging cornice was a little bit too scary for a Saturday.

It might look like it's small, but so does Dwyer from far away

We pulled into the Collins lot and knew it was going to be a good day.  This marks month 9 of top to bottom skiing at Alta!

Dwyer pulled his ski boots out of the truck, hoping their considerable smell  had diminished after a month of not sticking his feet in them. Judging by the crook in his neck they didn’t.

Who'd ever think Dwyer's boot smell would diminish is beyond me

Oui motored up the Baldy shoulder and quickly found one of the nicest places in the Wasatch.

It's SOFAKING nice here.  Perfect midsummer bivy location

The son and pops posed for more pictures and so did the brothers.  After the glam shots, we figured we’d come for what we came for, so we might as well make haste and take the quick way down!

Little did I know, Dwyer’s pal, and my new friend Biscuit is mis-named, for even though there was not a single gate at the entire ski area, Biscuit turned into Slalom Guy the minute he started skiing.  A cross block here, a shinner there. He just couldn’t help himself!

Justin Altman constantly inspires me to take starburst pictures.  CHEERS to you Mr. Altman

Dwyer took a gander at Slalom Guy and immediately knew that he just couldn’t turn quite that tight!

That's SILLY, of COURSE he can turn that tight

And the thing about really tight turns is they make Dwyer giggle like a little girl.  Here I am standing behind the camera, looking at Dwyer through the lens, but all I can hear are what sound like the squeaks of a high school girl at her first Katy Perry concert.

OK so maybe Dwyer doesn't laugh like a girl, But I really wanted a Katy Perry inspired metaphor

Dwyer, disheartened by my loving jokes, said, “It starts out with some innocent giggling, but it ends for YOU with a splash of July POW.”

Welllll, July POW is more like CORN, but it still makes for excellent schussing

Dwyer laughed it up all the way down, following the white brick road.

Get it, I said White, not Yellow?!?!?

I almost forgot about Slalom Guy, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he forgot how to Slalom turn!


Slalom guy threw that arm out front like he was trying to punch the loooong lens in the nose!  He came close too.

Alberto Tomba would have been proud of this Chap

Never, not in an entire life time of summer skiing, have I seen a skier perform air-borne Slalom turns on light weight tourers with Fritschis.  But today I saw it with my own two eyes!  It was a sight every skier should see.

Would you just look at that.  That's a lot of passion for some summer snow right there.

As Slalom Guy neared the end of the run, he accelerated, until he found the Finish Line and the winner’s corral.  He had his hands up, ready to party and receive July 16th’s Gold Medal for fastest Slalom Schuss of the Baldy Shoulder!

Damn, look at that Backcountry celebration.  WOOT WOOT WOOT SCHUSS HARD

And with that, we schussed our way back to the valley, reading for more July, August, and September turns.  Just counting the days until the snow returns…90… 89… 88…

Baldy's not even going to shed all of it's 10-11 coat.  We might as well start naming this the 10-12 season.

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One Comments

  1. Harvey44
    wrote on July 19th, 2011 at 10:38 pm  

    Sigh. I for one can look at ski pics all summer long. Must be great staying in ski shape all year.

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